Forgotton, But Not Lost
by lissaanne
Summary: AU. Random idea I had. It's the story of Draco and a forgotten childhood friend. The pursual of the girl he think could be the one.
1. The Past

_"Come on Dray!" The five year old girl giggled, tugging on her playmates hand. _

_Draco Malfoy smiled as he watched her run across the grass. Her golden brown curls bounced freely on her shoulders mimicking the girl's movements._

_"Dray, you'll miss it!" The girl huffed as she ran back to get him._

_"Miss what?"_

_"The fairies. They only come out just as the sunsets, and not for a minute longer!" She told him this as if it was the most obvious thing in the world._

_He followed obligingly, and she led him to the top of one of the many rolling hills behind his manor. _

_"Now sit, be quiet, and watch," She whispered. "And don't forget to _believe."

_The pair had been friends for two years, ever since Draco had wandered into a local playground when he was three. She had fallen off the swing, and her eyes were brimming with tears. To him she was 'positively the cutest thing.' He rushed to her side, helping her off the gravel. Since that moment they had been close to inseparable. They had spent as many days together as they could. Slowly, but surely the two grew to care about each other, more than their five year old vocabularies could express. _

_As Draco watched the sunset, he could have sworn that he saw the slightest flitting of sparkle in the air. He glanced over at his friend, and admired the glow in her face. He could have sat there all night, staring at her honey colored eyes, which continually sparkled with merriment. She looked over at him, and batted her long brown eyelashes, and gave him a smile that would light up any room. _

_"Isn't it just wonderful Dray?" She asked, her obvious amazement filling her voice. _

_"Yeah, it really is," He whispered. He realized at that moment that he loved her as much as a five year old possibly could. She was his best friend, his constant companion. Slowly, he reached out and grabbed her hand. He could have sworn that he felt a shock, and she blushed, and looked away. However, she didn't not let go, much to his happiness. _

_What he didn't know was that she was having similar thoughts about him. His blonde hair, so light it seemed silver in the daylight, sparkled with the glow of the stars that were starting to pop into the sky. For the small moment that their eyes met she was mesmerized by his ice blue eyes. They were the brightest that she had ever seen, and despite their icy appearance, they held so much warmth when they looked at her. _

_"Draco Lucius Malfoy! Get inside this instant!" Draco's father came yelling up the hill. "What have I told you about playing with this stupid wench?" Draco could see his father shaking with rage as he proceeded towards him._

_"I think you had better leave now," Draco whispered to his companion. However, his whisper was not quiet enough. _

_"Obliviate!" Lucius Malfoy shouted as he pointed his wand at the small girl cowering beside his son. She instantly fell unconscious, and would wake up with no memories of the young boy she had grown so fond of. _

_"But, daddy!" Draco protested, his eyes starting to tear. _

_"Draco, she is a mudblood. I have told you many times that you are not allowed to associate with them. You are above their kind. And get rid of those tears, Malfoys don't cry," He insisted. "You shall never see this girl again, and she will never remember who you are." _

_This concept baffled Draco, as he did not yet understand fully the power of the magic that raced through his veins. He couldn't see how she could forget year's worth of memories, and the young love that he was sure she felt too._

_"You will grow up someday boy, and she will mean _nothing_ to you." Lucius Malfoy drug his son in by his collar, and ordered the house elves to return the girl to her home, with as little commotion as possible. _

_"Just be lucky that I didn't do worse."_

_That was the moment that Draco Malfoy's heart turned to ice. He was no longer the sweet, caring, young boy that his friend had known. He was now arrogant, heartless, and felt a stronger hatred for his father than for anything else in his life. _


	2. Scars

Thanks to somber-quill and nicconicco for reviewing!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or spells or what not.

Scars

Draco woke from his sleep gasping for air. He reached to smooth back his sure to be unruly hair, only to find out that he was covered with sweat.

"What the hell was I dreaming about?" Draco mumbled to himself.

He walked over to the bathroom that adjoined his dorm with that of the Head Girl, Hermione Granger. After his shower he dried off, dressed, and headed down to the common room.

"Morning Malfoy," Hermione said as he came down the stairs, her eyes never looking up from the book she was reading.

"Mmppphhff," He mumbled his response, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed I take it," Hermione said, as more of a statement than a question.

"Or they just woke up in a cold sweat with no clue as to why," He muttered under his breath as he walked out the portrait.

After the War, McGonagall had insisted that all the students return to finish their schooling. She was determined to not let Hogwarts perish with the after effects of everything that had happened. When the students returned in the last week of September they were all surprised to find out that Draco Malfoy had been named Head Boy. His parents had been the biggest supporters of Voldemort, and many of the students were shocked that he chose not to follow in their footsteps. While he wasn't the friendliest of people, his cold exterior had somewhat faded when both his parents died in the war. He was cordial with others, but could still fly off the handle easily.

When Draco returned from flying around the quidditch pitch he was relieved to find Hermione gone. He by no means hated her, but it was easier for him to deal with the nightmares when she wasn't around. Ever since the war he had been waking up, drenched with sweat, and no memory of what he had been dreaming about. Some mornings he would remember fleeting images. The backyard of the manor, a small girls light brown curls, his father standing over him. From what he could remember, it was always the same dream.

Draco took the stairs to his dorm two at a time. When he got inside his threw his robe on the bed and stripped off the t-shirt he had been wearing. He stepped up to the mirror and inspected the many scars that covered his chest and arms. Some, many in fact, had been inflicted on him by his father. Some were punishment, some were drunken fits of rage, and some were scars Draco had made himself. He had been hurting himself for five years. It had gotten to the point where he didn't even know why it had started, or why he was even doing it anymore. All he knew was that it was an addiction. Lately he had been doing it to get rid of the feelings in the pit of his stomach that the nightmares left him with.

He had just picked up his pocket knife when he heard the portrait quietly open and close. He listened closely for Hermione's footsteps on the stairs. The image of Draco listening for her mirrored that of a lion stalking its prey.

"Draco, are you in there?" She knocked on his door.

"Jeez, woman, give someone a warning, would you?" He said, after nearly jumping out of his skin.

"Sorry, I didn't know whether or not you were back yet. Can I open the door?"

"Um, just hold on a minute," Draco said searching for a clean shirt.

After throwing on a shirt, and stowing his knife away in his dresser he opened up the door, leaned against the doorframe, and flashed Hermione the famous Malfoy smirk.

"And what can I do for you?" He asked with just a hint of boredom in his voice. He didn't want to let his guard down around people just yet.

"McGonagall would like to see us, something about planning a belated celebratory ball for the students."

"Now?"

"Yes Malfoy, now. So, put on your robe," She instructed after looking over what he was wearing. She couldn't help but notice how toned his chest and arms were. "Draco, what is that mark on your arm?" She asked, starting to push the sleeve of his shirt up, her face scrunched in confusion.

"Oh, that it's nothing. Snitch…forbidden forest…tree." He mumbled, pushing her hand away roughly.

"Okay? Um, just put on your robe and meet downstairs," She said slightly flustered.

"Fine," He said shortly and shut the door in her face.

_Shit,_ He thought to himself. _That could have been severely awkward. She looks kind of cute all flustered though_, He thought with a shrug of his shoulders.

_I wonder what that was really about_, Hermione thought as she bit her lip. She glanced back over her shoulder at the Head Boy's door. _Oh well, best not to push it. Malfoy can get a little crazy._

A/N: Yeah, it's kind of a weird place to stop. And I apologize for not much happening in this chapter. It's mostly just to get things going. Sorry if the updates aren't regular, I tend to re-write things a lot before I'm happy with it. Please review!


	3. Masks

Somber-quill: Thanks! Yeah, I was kind of disappointed with how the ending turned out. I just didn't know where I wanted to take it next.

Disclaimer: All the characters and everything else you've read in the Harry Potter books does not belong to me.

"Come in, come in," McGonagall said as Hermione knocked on her door, calling attention to her and Draco's presence.

"A ball?" Draco asked with skepticism as he sat down in front of the Headmistresses desk.

"Well you certainly don't waste any time do you Mr. Malfoy? Yes, a ball. A masquerade ball in fact."

The Heads just looked at her in confusion.

"Professor McGonagall, if I may ask, why a masquerade ball?" Hermione inquired. "Not that they aren't fun, but they are usually customary for Halloween, or festivals, aren't they?"

"Yes, Miss Granger, they are. But this ball is for the whole wizarding community. And the Ministry has decided on a masquerade ball. They thought it would be best for us to be masked, interacting with others, based on who they truly are, not what side of the war they fought on. I would like you and Draco to oversee Hogwarts contributions to the ball. You will not necessarily be planning anything, but overseeing. The ball will be held here, and I would like you two to make sure that preparations go smoothly, and that students are prepared, behavior wise. Are you two capable of doing that?"

"Of course, Professor," Hermione answered for the both of them, seeing as Draco was fiddling with the various gadgets on the desk.

"Good. I will call you up to my office later on, and the details of the ball will be owled to you by the Ministry. Hermione, you may go now. Draco I need to speak with you for a moment."

Hermione left the room, while Draco scooted up in his chair a bit more.

"Now Draco, I know things must be hard for you, having lost both parents to the war."

"Yeah, I guess. They weren't much for parents though," He replied shrugging his shoulders.

"Mr. Malfoy, I get that you don't want to show anybody any emotion, but that façade of yours has to come down sometime," McGonagall said, striking a nerve in Draco.

"You know what, yeah it is hard. Everyone I ever cared about died!" He said, letting off his pent up anger. "I'm here all alone, and everybody in the damn school hates me! Of course things are hard for me! Now, may I leave, or would you like to provoke me some more?" Draco was red in the face, his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

"Mister Malfoy. Sit," McGonagall said forcefully. "I was merely inquiring as to your well being. It's not healthy to hide your emotion. Now, if you are done yelling at me, I have a letter for you."

"A letter? From whom?" Draco asked.

"Your mother. It was written a while ago. It contains some very, interesting news," She said handing him an envelope that was slightly crinkled. "It arrived here a week ago, as merely a precaution we have been making sure that it is safe. I suggest you read it soon."

"Thanks, I guess, I don't know what my mother would have to say to me though."

"Just read it Mr. Malfoy, you may leave now."

He left with a slight nod towards the Headmistress, staring at the letter in his hand. He made his way back to the common room in a daze, not wanting to open the letter, afraid of what it might say.

"So, Draco, I was thinking we might set up some etiquette classes for…" Hermione trailed off as Draco simply walked past her and shut the door without as much as a look at her.

Once he was in his room, he carefully opened the seal. He held it away from him afraid it might explode, or something his father would find humorous, like kill him. When he was sure that it was safe, he brought it closer.

_Draco,_

_Well, my son, if you are reading this, then my worst fears are confirmed. The war is over, your father and I are dead, and you are on your own. I know you never agreed with your father's philosophies, but I want you to know that I always loved you. I know I never showed it, but I do, did, care for you. My only son, you were my pride and joy. I want the best for you, and I'm sorry your father and I could not give you what you wanted. _

_I don't know how to tell you this, but your father essentially robbed part of your childhood from you. I know you must have slight memories of a girl you met when you were young. I must say, you two were quite enamored by each other. For two years, you hardly left each other's side. You told her that you would always love her. But your father, being the man he is, well, was, obliviated her memories of you. I am not sure whatever happened to her, but I do know you should find her. _

_Her name, who she is, that is for you to find out, as I never knew her name. You never called her by her real name, but usually by Sunshine, or another nickname. She is not pureblood, but please, do not let that stop you. I believe that you two were meant for each other, if a woman's intuition means anything to you. Your father is not willing to share her identity, but I believe that you will believe able to figure out. Through your memories, or question any friends you have left, I believe you will find her. _

_I will always love you my son,_

_Your mother_

_Thanks mother, _Draco thought. _Thanks so much. For this useless crap! My soul mate is someone I met when I was a tot? And not a pureblood. Sick joke mother, sick joke. _

A/N: I'm really excited to write the next chapter. But, I will only post it if you review. It really only takes a minute of your time. I don't want to be writing a story that no one likes, or reads.


	4. Closure

Enilas- I'm really glad you like the story!

Nicconicco- I promise to update as fast as I can! I really like writing this story, so hopefully this comes soon enough for you =)

Fluffy-san- I'll definitely keep writing! I don't plan on quitting this story anytime soon.

Kk1999- Thank you =)

Jessirose85- Thanks so much. Yeah, when I was planning this out in my head I never really planned on it to be too much of a secret.

BroadwayNightOwl- I'm really glad you enjoy the story! And no worries, he will find out.

Btw: This chapter is going to be a little more focused on Hermione.

Disclaimer: None of this is mine.

About a week had passed since Draco had received his letter, and so far he had dismissed it as a stupid practical joke from his mother. He figured it was once last chance for her torture him. Even the dreams that haunted his sleep did nothing to change his mind.

Hermione had not spoken to Ron since the day of their fight. She had calmed down quite a bit, still very hurt, but she wanted some closure. After her potions class she sat down to owl Ron. She spent two hours in the common room trying to figure out what to say, whether or not to be emotional, or just tell him where to meet and when. She ended up with a pile of wasted parchment surrounding the couch. She was crumpling up her latest attempt at a note when Draco entered the common room.

"Writing love notes, Granger?" He asked, with a slight sneer.

"Quite the opposite, _Draco_," She said, putting extra emphasis on the use of his first name. "I just need to talk to Ronald about…well, some things," Hermione sighed.

"The Weasel, eh? Why waste the time?"

"It's not a waste of time."

"A waste of parchment then," He said gesturing to the pile of failed attempts.

"Would you just let me do this in peace?"

"And what kind of Malfoy would I be then? Just because my parents are dead doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to be kind," Draco stated.

"Apparently not," Hermione said with an eye roll. She turned her attention back to the letter to Ron.

Draco turned and walked to his bedroom, annoyed that he had no one to torment. Ever since the letter he had been on edge, and reverted more to his old attitude.

Hermione finally was able to get her note to Ron written.

_Ronald,_

_I've been able to calm down for a while, and I would like to talk to you about the things you said. I will be in the Gryffindor common room today after dinner. Please meet me there. _

_Hermione_

She headed to the Owlery to send off the note. She walked up to one of the owls, folded the note in half, and tied it to his ankle. She turned around and was greeted by a familiar face.

"Oh, hi Harry," Hermione said, slightly startled.

"Hey, Mione. I'm really sorry I haven't been around much, I really have been meaning to stop by, it's just with…"

"Harry, stop," Hermione interrupted. "I understand how hectic everything has been for you. You just saved the wizarding world. Don't worry about anything. I have to get going though. I have a lot of essays to write."

"Alright. I promise to have more time soon, I'll come by sometime okay? I'm really sorry." He enveloped her in a hug.

"Okay, Harry," Hermione giggled, shaking her head at her friend's unnecessary apology.

"And Hermione," Harry said, causing her to turn around as she walked out the door. "Ron really feels like a git."

"Well he should," She replied, with ice in her voice.

The two parted with a nod.

*******

That night at dinner Ron was busy stuffing his face full of food when the owl landed on his plate. He read the note, and then got up quickly, wanting to make amends with Hermione.

"Harry, I'll see you later okay? I have to go take care of some business." He left without waiting for a reply.

When he got there he saw Hermione standing in front of the fireplace, with her back away from him. He cleared his throat slightly to get her attention.

"Hi Ronald," She said shortly.

"Mione…"

"Don't Mione, me Ronald. I'm just here for an explanation." She stared at him with her arms crossed. He got the feeling that if he didn't start talking soon, she would begin tapping her foot.

"Look, the war has taken its toll on every one, especially me, you, and Harry. And it's made me rethink a lot of things. Our relationship was one of them. It's not that I didn't love you, because I did. I was just scared. I'm a 17 year old boy, Hermione, I don't want to be tied down. The war made me realize that life is short; I've lost family for crying out loud. I can't just live life the same anymore. I want to know what the world has to offer. The war made me realize that if I die, I don't want to have any regrets. I don't want to waste my life anymore."

"So I'm a waste of your time?" She asked with tears in her eyes.

"No, not at all. I just need to see what else is out there," He replied shamefully. He had always hated when she cried.

"Well, now you can do that. I'm no longer in your life Ronald."

"Please, Hermione, I still want your friendship."

"I told you going into our relationship that if things ended I could never be just your friend. I was in love with you Ronald. I thought you could be the one. I wanted to marry you! I understand that this has been a hard time. It's been hard on every one. You don't think that I can feel if too? I've been changed as well. I've lost people as well. Don't act like you are the only one in this relationship that has been affected. I have too. But I can't change your mind. I also can't be friends with you. You ripped my heart out, and I can't forgive you for that. I can't be friends with someone who has hurt me so incredibly. Goodbye, Ronald. I hope you have a good life." She brushed past him, and quietly shut the common room door.

It killed her to just let him go. But she knew that she could never look at him the same with all of their history. It broke her heart to walk out on him, to not give their friendship a chance to work out, but she knew that it was what's best. Things would never be the same for the two. The war had changed everyone, and she knew she couldn't look back.

A/N: This chapter was a little sad for me to write, just because I was sort of channeling emotions from my last break up while writing it, so I'm sorry it took a little bit to get out. I'm so thrilled with everyone that reviewed! Thanks so much! Please keep it up


	5. Finding Out

Kk1999- Yeah, I've never liked Ron very much. And thanks!!

SilverLashes- Thanks! And sorry this took so long to update. I've had a bit of writers block.

BroadwayNightOwl- That's what I think too.

When Hermione returned to the head's common room her face was still tear- stained from her talk with Ron. All she wanted to do was head up to her room and take a long nap, but once she walked in the door, it was obvious that it wasn't going to happen.

"Now, Granger, I highly doubt the Weasel is worth the tears. He's really quite pathetic," Draco said, looking close to an eye roll.

"Draco, why I cry is none of your business," She spat with an edge to her voice. Hermione was not in the mood for his antics tonight.

"Easy now, I was only concerned for you."

"Are you kidding me?" She asked with an incredulous look on her face. "Draco Malfoy, care about another person? I doubt it."

"You know Granger, I was actually worried. All that rat has done this year has made you cry, I've walked in and out of this common room to hear shouting, see you in tears, and you know what? I don't like it! I've changed, Merlin, I've changed! I wish you could see that! You, of all people, I would think that might be able to accept me just a little bit!"

Hermione stood speechless, quite taken aback by his sudden outburst.

"Draco, I had…no idea," Hermione said in a whisper.

"No one does. Just leave me the hell alone Granger." Draco stormed up to his room, shutting his door with a loud slam.

Hermione sat on the couch in front of the fireplace with her head in her hands. First Ron, now Draco, she couldn't take any more fights. She, Draco wasn't a person she would consider a good friend, but she wasn't able to handle losing anyone else, not tonight. She wiped away her last few tears, and went up to her bedroom to freshen up.

In the bathroom she threw her hair up into a messy bun, and held a cold washcloth to her face, trying to get rid of some of the redness. Once she had put on her pajamas, she contemplated going to talk to Draco, then decided it was best to just give him a little bit of time. She spent the next couple hours immersed in her homework.

When she was finished, it was 11:14. She closed her books with a sigh, and decided she had best go talk to Draco. She hoped that he wasn't asleep yet, considering tomorrow was still a school day. She quietly walked over to his room, and knocked on the door.

"Draco?" She called. "Draco, please open up, I want to talk to you." She waited a couple minutes, and when she still hadn't heard an answer she decided to go in.

"Draco Malfoy, I know you can't be that angry at me," She said as she looked around his room. When she got no answer she opened the door to the bathroom. A small scream left her lips. Draco was lying on the floor one arm sprawled over the bathtub; the other was hanging limply next to his side. He was shirtless, and his chest and arms were covered, Hermione saw, with old scars, and fresh cuts. She immediately turned and ran to go get Madame Pomfrey. It took her about two minutes. While the hospital wing was halfway across the castle, Hermione was quite in shape from running during the summers.

"Madame Pomfrey!" She called as she pushed open the door. It didn't come out quite as loud as she wanted, due to being out of breath. "Madame Pomfrey! I need your help!"

"What is it my dear?" The nurse asked as she came walking swiftly towards Hermione.

"Draco Malfoy…bathroom….covered in blood…he hurt himself…all over." Hermione was unable to string a full sentence together, the image of Draco lying by the tub still in her head.

"Oh dear, go get Professor McGonagall, right away. I shall go to the boy."

After another five minutes of running, Hermione was back in the common room, waiting anxiously while Pomfrey and McGonagall tended to an unconscious Draco. After twenty minutes Professor Snape came in, a stretcher floating behind him. He went upstairs, and soon the three adults came downstairs with a floating Draco behind them.

"Now, Miss Granger," McGonagall said, crouching down so she could look Hermione in the eye. "Mister Malfoy should be just fine. We are taking him to the hospital wing. You are welcome to come with. And if you would like to stay by his bed I will excuse you from tomorrow, well today's classes."

"Yes please, Professor," Hermione said weakly, following her in a daze.

They laid Draco carefully down on a bed. He was bandaged up heavily, and Hermione noted that he was still shirtless. She felt bad for noticing at such an awful time, but he looked quite tempting, minus the fact that she knew what the bandages were for. Madame Pomfrey had given him a potion to help restore the blood he had lost, but it also knocked him out for the next few hours.

Hermione grabbed his hand, hoping to convey the fact that she was sorry for earlier, hoping it would reach is unconscious. She eventually fell asleep, her head resting on the side of Draco's bed.

******

When Draco woke up, he mentally cursed himself when he saw where he was. He knew he should have been more careful with his knife, but he hadn't been able to control himself. When he reached his hand up to smooth his hair back, he realized that something warm had a hold of his other hand. He looked down and saw a sleeping Hermione holding onto his right hand. A slight smile reached his lips when he thought of her staying the night for him. He couldn't help but realize how beautiful she was. Her light brown curls softly fell around her, making her look like an angel to him. She had a slightly pained look on her face as she slept.

He gave her shoulder a slight nudge, in hopes of waking her up.

"Mm...Five more minutes," She mumbled.

"Hermione, wake up," He whispered.

"Draco? Oh, Draco! Are you okay?" She asked immediately sitting up straight, remembering what happened last night.

"I'm fine, don't worry."

"Oh Draco, you gave me such a scare, I didn't know what…wait. Draco, you used my first name," She said, a small smile gracing her lips.

_She looks so beautiful when she smiles_, Draco thought to himself. _Wait, what am I thinking? Since when does it make me happy that Hermione, I mean Granger, was worried about me?_

"Um, yeah, I guess I did," He mumbled with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Draco, if you don't mind me asking, why?"

"Why did I use your first name?"

"No," She shook her head. "Why did you hurt yourself?" She asked, motioning to his bandaged up body.

"No reason," He said quickly.

"Draco, I know there's a reason. There's always a reason for this type of thing. I'm sorry if I pry too much. You don't have to tell me. I just wished you hadn't."

"Thank you," He said his voice a little bit hoarse from sleeping so much. "No one else would have cared." He gave her hand, which hadn't left his, a slight squeeze. "You should have let me die for how I've treated you."

"But that would have made me no better than the people whom I just spent the last year fighting."

"People like my father. People like me." He hung his head.

"No Draco, you are nothing like them, especially your father. There's so much good in you, I know it." The look on her face told Draco that she truly believed in what she was saying. "I'm going to go get Madame Pomfrey. I'll be right back okay?" She gave his hand one last squeeze, and then got up to get the nurse.

Draco watched her walk away, noticing a slight tug on his heart. _I can't actually have feelings for her, can I?_ He looked at the hand that she has been holding, and immediately wished that her hand was still in his. _I guess I can…_

A/N: Well, I think that's a good place to stop. I'm actually really happy with how it turned out. Sorry this took so long to get out, I've been suffering from a bit of writer's block, that, and I've been a little busy. Please review!!


	6. Two Steps Back

Kk1999- It's going to be some hard work for them!

BroadwayNightOwl- He hasn't opened up too much. He'll get there eventually though.

Readerforlife- Thanks for reviewing!

Nicconicco- I'm glad! I hope I don't disappoint, but I'm not too happy with this chapter. Sorry if it sucks!

SilverLashes- Thanks!

The next day when Draco entered the common room he was greeted with an awkward hello.

"So…there's kind of an elephant in the room, huh?" He said sheepishly, running a hand through his hair, a gesture that Draco seemed to pair with embarrassment.

"Well, I suppose so," Hermione replied with a half shrug.

"You suppose?"

"Yes, I said that didn't I? There's either an elephant in the room, or we could talk about what happened. Then there would cease to be this elephant you're talking about." Her words had a certain edge to them.

"Are you _angry_ with me?" He asked incredulously.

"A bit yes," She said, avoiding eye contact with him.

"And why on earth do you have a reason to be angry with me?" Draco's voice rose with each word.

Quite a few minutes of silence passed with Hermione looking everywhere but Draco, not wanting to answer his question.

"Answer me!" Draco suddenly yelled.

"What you did was selfish," Hermione said, in barely more than a whisper. She held up a hand to stop his reply. "I know that you are incredibly hurt, and have been through and seen things that I probably can't imagine, and I fought right alongside Harry during the war, so it's saying lot. I don't doubt that this has something to do with your home life. I'm not stupid Draco, that has to have something to do with it," She said to his look of protest. "But Draco, there are so many better ways to deal with hurt. What you did might make you feel better for a fraction of the time, but it hurts everyone else, it hurts those who care about you."

"And you care?"

"Yes, Draco, I do."

"Oh." He had not received the answer he expected. A knot seemed to form in his chest when he realized that he had hurt her.

"I'm not going to order you to stop. I don't have that power over you. But I would beg of you to find some other way of dealing with your pain. Talk to someone, please. I um, have to go to class." Her voice choked, and she left in haste.

By the time that he got out of the room to remind her it was Saturday she had already disappeared down the hall.

****

"Harry, what am I to do?" Hermione had just finished recounting all that had happened with Draco. She was currently sitting in an overstuffed armchair holding a cup of hot chocolate. She carefully took a sip, and then continued. "I mean, I can't just let this go, can I?"

"Hermione, would you like to hear my honest opinion, or my opinion that I have because it's Malfoy?"

"Well I don't see why they should be different, but I suppose I'll hear both." She frowned a bit at the grudge Harry still seemed to hold for his classmate.

"Well, because it's Malfoy, I'd say to hell with it, forget him. Let him kill himself for all I care. But," He said, holding up a hand to silence Hermione. "Because I care about you, I'd say that all you can do is be there for your…friend," He said, grimacing at the last word. "It is a battle that he's fighting with himself, you can't do much."

"I know, I just wish…"

"Hermione, I know that you like to fix people. You like lost causes, thinking you can bring them back. But Malfoy has never been the 'friend' type. Or the type to take help or compassion from anybody."

"You're right," She said, her shoulders slumping in defeat. "It's just frustrating not being able to do anything."

"Well from what you've told me, it sounds like you still have to talk to him some. Sure, the guy used your first name, but it's still Malfoy, and if I know anything about his personality, it's that he likes to put walls right back up after they've been taken down."

"I should go back shouldn't I?"

"Yeah, probably should. I mean, come on, classes? On a Saturday? I _know_ you are smarter than that," Harry said with a slight smirk on his face.

"I was in a hurry. Thank you for talking to me, I'll let you know how it goes." She gave Harry a quick hug and then made her way back to her own common room.

"Draco, we should talk," Hermione called her eyes scanning the room for Draco. She jumped when he came in from behind her, holding a bowl of cereal.

"Yes, we should. I walk quietly," He said to the question that her raised eyebrows held. "Before you say anything, hear me out. I was very caught off guard to hear that you, erm, care about me. I'm not exactly used to it, you know? But I very much appreciate your, um, feelings. And I'll try to change how I deal with my, well, pain."

Hermione giggled slightly at the expression on his face. "You aren't good with your feelings are you?"

"Not at all."

"Well I'm glad you made the effort to verbalize them to me. And you should talk to someone."

"I know, I just don't often talk to people. About my feelings."

"Draco, the war changed _everyone. _ I'm hoping that it might have changed that aspect about you. You just have to let yourself be changed."

"Granger, I think you've said enough." His voice was tinged with slight annoyance. "Yes, I'm thankful you care about me. But I still have boundaries. Using your first name once doesn't get rid of those." Draco's heart was fighting every word that was coming out of his mouth. "So, just, give me my space." He stalked off noisily up the stairs.

Hermione's eyes welled up with tears. She had not anticipated this at the beginning of the year. She understood that Draco Malfoy was moody, but she wasn't prepared to be shoved aside. She was _determined_ to change him.

A/N: I know it's been a while, but I was pretty busy last week. I also know that this one's pretty short. I'll try my hardest to make the next one longer. I promise! And I promise I'll put more about his past in the next chapter!


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